Florida Is Undefeated Part 2: Exposed Dick

Florida Man is back with a vengeance. You think that fickle bitch COVID-19 is going to outshine Florida Man? Au contraire mon frère. Let’s see COVID do this: “First, nobody wants to see that," Sheriff Grady Judd said. Florida man arrested for exposing himself while driving says he often drives with his penis exposed because […]

2020: We Have Zombies

Well this is it folks. 2020 has brought us uncontrollable wildfires, a potential WWIII, the government admitting to the existence of aliens and Corona, but like the stubborn human beings we are, we persevered. And now the planet has had enough of our shit so it’s unleashing the ace up it’s sleeve: zombies. Eerie video […]

Florida Is Undefeated

Protesting is all the rage right now. Literally any issue you can think of calls for a protest. Oh, you want me to stay inside to practice social distancing and “flatten the curve” of a worldwide virus that’s killed thousands? NOT ON OUR WATCH! WE NEED TO BE OUTSIDE! PROTEST ON THAT ASS! While I […]

Does A Five Year Old Deserve A Lamborghini?

I’m not sure what you were doing when you were 5 years old, but I can almost guarantee you weren’t driving across state line to get yourself Lamborghini because your parents straight up refused to buy you one. Authorities said the boy drove his parents' car after getting mad when his mom said she wouldn't […]

Playgrounds Used To Be Deathtraps

When you think of a playground, what pops into your mind? Monkeybars**, that spinny thing where you spin it as fast as you can and hold on for dear life, some random horse/zebra-looking spring contraption, a tunnel where the cool kids would go to kiss and a few shitty slides (maybe you’d be special and […]

The Eagles Are Dumb

The Philadelphia Eagles are a mess. They have been for a long time now. Sure they had that one Super Bowl win where they used an illegally set up trick play in order to swing momentum, but other than that one blip on the radar, the Eagles have been a wholly mismanaged franchise. But we’re […]

Racist Patriots Strike Again

The New England Patriots, one of the most respected organizations in sports known racist organization based out of one of the most racist regions in the country, have once again shown their true colors during this years draft. I present to you rookie kicker, Justin Rohrwasser and his evil tattoo. Seems like a cool, above […]