The Savior Is Back: Tim Tebow Swindles His Way Back Into The NFL

Tim Tebow looks to be on his way back into the NFL. No need to spit out your water, what I speak is true. The man who hasn’t stepped on a football field in almost a decade, couldn’t get any more work in the NFL due to the fact that he can’t play QB so he jumped ship to try to crack into the MLB with the Mets is (almost) back on a professional football roster. In the year 2021. Oh, and he was on a few college football shows on ESPN in that time as well.

Why is a failed quarterback coming back at a position he’s never played professionally before? Because his buddy, Urban Meyer, is the new coach in Jacksonville. You know Jacksonville, right? The team that just drafted a quarterback with their first pick. I wonder if Trevor Lawrence will be pressured by his coach to get Tebow the ball as a sad way to justify this pointless signing. Or how about when Lawrence has a bad game and you inevitably hear the “put Tebow in” argument from braindead pundits and impatient fans? There’s no way this ends wrong or stunts a promising young quarterbacks career right?

And you can keep your “but he’s a good influence on the team! He’s a good guy to be around!” nonsense. First of all, you think the players are going to respect what this guy says? HE DOESN’T DESERVE A ROSTER SPOT AND HIS TEAM KNOWS IT!

Secondly, if Urban Meyer really wants him around the team, why not bring him in as a Positivity Coach or something like that? Invent a coaching spot for him! You’re already going to be inventing a position for him because he can’t play QB, he can’t play TE…so what’re you going to call him? Gadget Guy?

Or you can just have him do whatever this was as like, a hybrid onside kick type thing? Or maybe make the throw look SO BAD that the defense just marvels in amazement at the ineptitude of the opposing QB just long enough that a receiver can snag it before they know what’s going on?

Honestly, you can name 100 available players that deserve a roster spot on an NFL team before you even THINK about getting to Tebow’s washed up name. Hell, give me Dez Bryant, Randy Moss, Brian Dawkins, Pat McAfee for crying out loud, before you give me this positionless spotlight obsessed waste of time.

Here’s an interesting video: the last time Tim Tebow went out for a pass in the NFL…

And here’s a fun little fact for that ass: when Timothy had his first failed go round with the NFL, coaches and executives wanted him to switch positions and become a tight end! Which makes sense because the guy looked like he was built to be one.

But Tebow said, in so many words, he’d rather not play football than switch his position. So the underwhelming legend began: Denver HC Josh McDaniels drafted Tebow in the first round (a pick that would help lead to McDaniels getting fired shortly thereafter) to be a QB1. After one memorable win against the Steelers in the playoffs where he threw a 10 yard slant and Thomas took it the rest of the way, Timmy T was sent packing by John Elway when the GM learned that Tebow, in fact, could not play the position he was drafted to play. And so the Circus of Tebow moved on to the Jets where he couldn’t beat out Mark Sanchez for a job and then stopped in both Philly and New England for a cup of coffee, starting a total of zero games for either team. This is the guy Meyer is planning to forfeit a roster spot to.

I don’t even know why I’m talking about his history as a quarterback though, that’s not the position he’s going to play on the Jaguars. He’s signing on to play tight end. Again, a position HE HAS NEVER PLAYED PROFESSIONALLY AND HAS NO EXPERIENCE AT. Can you imagine being a current free agent or undrafted tight end who busts their ass to try to get a roster spot and this failed minor league baseball player leap frogs you just because he’s besties with the new HC in Jax. What a crock of shit. And the players know it.

And all you Tebow maniacs can say when asked what impact Tebow Is going to have is “He’s going to help them win games”. And when asked how he is going to help, you give a reply the likes of “He just helps teams win! Tebow magic! He has a nose for the end zone!” Yawn. What a crock of shit.

P.S. I didn’t want to bring it up, but the elephant in the room can’t be ignored any longer…how the hell is Tim Tebow getting a job before Colin Kaepernick? Can’t say Kap isn’t in the league because of his baggage anymore cause Tebow brings his own circus with him as well. Can’t say Kap isn’t in the league because he’s been out of it for so long or he wasn’t good cause uh, he’s light years better than Tebow and hasn’t been out out the league as long as Tim. Hmmm, just food for thought.

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