So I’m Married Now

So in case you are not aware, I got married a week ago today. Tied the knot. Hooked up the ol ball and chain. April 16th was the day, to be exact (I am really bad with dates so I am trying to say and type April 16th as much as I can so I never forget it….April 16th). It was a great time with great people and it turned out to be everything a little boy dreams of…which would be just getting through the ceremony without stuttering too much or sweating through my clothes. One of which, I was able to accomplish.

Now I’m not gonna sit here and wax poetically about how marriage is such a beautiful bonding of two people who love each other and how gorgeous our wedding turned out to be or how mushy and gushy everyone got. Nope. I will definitely not sit here and tell you how damn good I looked. Nope. Won’t do it!

I just wanted to give any guys (or girls) out there a few tips and bring up a few things they don’t tell you in Marriage Class.

Take It All In: Holy shit does the day go by quick. I’m talking Barry Allen fast. Months and months of stressing and planning are gone in a few hours, which only feel like a few minutes. Just make sure you take the time to appreciate what’s happening. If you have a “Guys Room” like my groomsmen and I did, go in there for a few minutes, alone, about halfway through the reception and just…stand there (or sit). Take it in. Take a breath. This is (hopefully) a once in a lifetime thing for you so take a few minutes to yourself and acknowledge that and remember that all those people are here for you (mostly your bride though) and just be in the moment. Like I said, it comes and goes way too quickly. Enjoy it.

Don’t Be Too Fancy: 3 piece suits are for the birds. They’re old fashioned in my eyes. This isn’t your grandfather’s wedding and we don’t need to dress like we’re going on the Titanic. I feel like no one has ever been 100% comfortable strapped into a gala-like suit at a wedding. You’re not James Bond, get a regular tux and move on. I went with a regular button up with a blazer and a tie and it was the best decision ever. Especially in Florida. But wherever you are, screw the suit. You’ll be much happier you did, trust me.

Make Sure You Get To Eat: Listen, between taking pictures left and right and making your rounds to greet your guests, you will get a SLIVER of time to eat. And that’s being generous. You need a designated “Food Person” to make sure you get everything you want. We did not have that and it was a mistake. You’ll get a taste of the main courses, sure, but I’m talkin apps. If you have a grazing table or something like that, make sure you have someone set some aside for you. Because while everyone is inside enjoying the food you provided them, you’ll be outside sweating like grease monkeys taking picture after picture. My wife (still weird to call her that) and I had exactly NONE of our apps. And we had SUCH GOOD apps! PEPPER JELLY!

Have Fun: Dance. It’s cliche as hell, but dance. Even if you can’t dance, dance. Even if you are a bit self-conscious, dance. Even if you don’t know the dance, DANCE! I promise you it makes the entire night THAT much better. Don’t be the person who is watching the fungasm happen on the dancefloor while you’re duct taped to your seat or outside watching everyone have fun inside like you’re walking by a party you weren’t invited to. I made a complete ass out of myself for hours and guess what, wouldn’t have had it any other way.

Pictures!: Every instance you can, take a picture. If you have a photo booth, use it. Take as many pictures as humanly possible because even though there’ll be a professional photographer, you’ll want your own candid photos. Or just normal pics of you and your peeps. I already feel like I don’t have enough pictures of the day/night and that sucks. So make sure you and all your bridal party take as many pictures as you can throughout the entire day. It’ll be worth it. You all should look DAMN good anyway, so take advantage of it.

Vows Are Vows: Don’t sweat it over the vows. I wrote and rewrote a ton of lines in my notes app and the day before the wedding I deleted it all and started over from scratch. Didn’t finish until the morning of the wedding either. Not because I didn’t care, but because I was overthinking it for MONTHS. Just…tell the other person how you feel. That’s it. Throw in a subtle inside joke or reference that only a handful of people will get and move on. Maybe throw in some waterworks too, the crowd will eat that shit UP.

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