Let’s Ruin A Perfect Food: Part 1 – Fruit Loop Pizza

I’ve been seeing more and more of this across social media: Human beings taking a perfectly good snack or meal and throwing some nonsensical pizazz on it thus ruining said food. It’s infuriating.

I have a whole list of foods I’m going to do here, but the first part of this disgusting series comes in the form of arguably the best meal ever created: pizza.


Freaking Iowa. Of course it’s a state no one even remembers exists that comes up with something like this. Anything to get your name back on the map, huh? Well you’ve gone too far this time you irrelevant little shit.

I’d eat 100 pineapple topped pies before I touch this monstrosity.

And how about their reasoning:

“We wanted to provide an option that we thought would be fun for children…”

Don’t teach these kids that this is okay! My goodness, if you show kids at an early age that putting things like FRUIT LOOPS on pizza is allowed, THAT is going to be the generation to bring us down. Nothing will matter anymore. No rules. A lawless society with cereal on pizza and chaos in the streets.

I’m sure when then the history books are written about our disaster of an existence, this will be a chapter. “The Time The Human Race Ruined Food” And this will be one of the bullet points. Pizza is pizza. It’s perfection. I’d even venture to say we don’t need any toppings whatsoever. A beautiful cheese pizza doesn’t need the window dressing of pepperoni or mushrooms or bacon or whatever else you want on there.

Pizza, you’re amazing just the way you are baby, don’t ever change.

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