Fruit Does Not Belong On Pancakes

Polarizing food arguments are nothing new to Twitter.

Pineapple on pizza. Ketchup on hot dogs. Mayo on anything. Bacon is overrated. Things of that ilk.

Oh, and whatever the hell this is that’s going around. Just a mess for no damn reason..

But a take popped up from a rather random source: Wale. And I gotta say, this may be the hottest food take I’ve ever seen. And I 100% agree.

I’ve never understood why people like fruit on pancakes. Sure it looks nice and presentable, but when it comes time to eat it just gets in the way. Why do I need a whole ass strawberry on top of my pancake? Think of the hassle that is. I don’t need to add another step in my breakfast meal when preparing a pancakes is already a multi step process.

When you have a pancake, well who are we kidding here, no one eats ONE pancake. When you have multiple pancakes, there is 3 step process: 1. Stack however many pancakes you plan on eating. 2. Get a good coat of butter atop each individual pancake. 3. Drizzle each one to death with syrup**, similar to what you did with the butter. Done. NOWHERE do you see any step saying “add a garnish of blueberries” or “plop a strawberry on that bitch”.

**I know some people like to dump a little pool of syrup next to their pancakes to dip them in, but that is incorrect. Unless that syrup is just extra for the syrup you’ve already put ON the pancakes, that step is not necessary and shouldn’t be allowed.

And even if you’re adding fruit on top AFTER you’ve prepared the perfect stack, that’s just nasty. Syrup does not jive well with any fruit you’d be adding to this meal. Bananas? Strawberry? Blueberries? Raspberry? No, no, no and no. It’ll just give it this weird, soggy consistency and no one wants that.

This actually brings me to a larger issue i have with society: Why do we feel the need to add pomp and frills to an already perfect meal? Take pizza for instance. A cheese pizza is perfection. Why do we add unnecessary bits like mushrooms, anchovies or god forbid pineapples? WHAT IS THE REASON!? You ever heard of Cheez-Its? Arguably the best snack ever? Perfection in its original form. I do NOT need cheddar, “duos” or grooves! Or how about Oreos? Another perfect snack. I don’t need my Oreo dipped in fudge or the stuffing exchanged with mint stuffing and lord knows I don’t need whatever the hell this monstrosity is..

Pancakes are the perfect breakfast meal. Eggs are the staple, toast/bagels are necessary for substance and bacon is an overrated favorite, but pancakes are truly the pinnacle of morning dining.

A perfect, unblemished pancake could bring a year to the eye.

When you’re hungover, lying saying you’ll “never drink again”, who’s there to save you? Certainly not a fucking sliced up banana! Pancakes. Pancakes are there to fill your stomach and, thus, your heart.

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