2021’s First Casualty: The Office

Instead of ringing in the New Year with a night full of drinks, food, happiness and all that hooplah, my fiancé and I welcomed 2021 with sadness in our hearts and tears in our eyes.

The Office has been stolen..snaked..bamboozled from the convenience of Netflix and kidnapped by Peacock. And no, not the colorful bird. I’m talking about NBC’s streaming service. And yes, it’s a dumbass name.

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I get why they called it that, with their logo and all, but I mean guys, come on. You’re just welcoming the jokes and criticism. PeaCOCK. Gotta be smarter than that.

Anyway, the clock struck midnight and I just laid there. Waiting. Hoping against all hope that Dunder Mifflin wasn’t going to leave. And to my surprise, it was 12:15 and Michael Scott was still on my screen!

YES! The good guys finally get a win! Dundee’s all around! So I passed out, January 1st, with hope in my heart. Hesitant hope, but hope nonetheless. And then I woke to pictures like this:

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Damn you NBC. How dare you? How dare you take this away from us! Has 2020 not been difficult enough? You HAD to just dig the knife in at the start of the new year, you sons of bitches. What other show am I going to put on when I’m scrolling through Netflix looking for a new movie/show to put on before I ultimately take my nightly trip to Scranton? What other shows intro music is going to randomly blast so loud that I wake up on the couch at 3 in the morning? UGH.

The Office was quite literally the perfect show. It didn’t require constant viewing during each episode for you to jump in randomly within those 20-something minutes and catch a joke or understand what’s going on. And while there’s a constant storyline, you can still pick a random episode and not have to rely on knowing exactly what’s going on in that core story. Look at “Dinner Party” for instance. You don’t need to know anything else about the show. You immediately realize these are 3 (soon to be 4) couples getting together for an awkward get together crescendoed by the host couple fighting. EVERYONE CAN RELATE!

I think what pisses me off the most about those cock’s at NBC is that there is literally zero reason for them to have a streaming service. Other than The Office (and to a lesser extent Parks and Rec which also got abducted from Netflix) what does NBC have to offer? Look at their lineup of shows. TRASH! I’m not even going to put them all on here because they don’t deserve it.

It’s not like they’re going to stop putting their shoes on regular cable anyway. So while such legendary, CAN’T MISS shows like Superstore and Blindspot stumble along regular tv, what’re they going to put on their service? Law & Order reruns? Create 10 new “Chicago ______” shows to go along with their Chicago-verse they already have? This is literally just a cash grab to force people to sign up so they can watch The Office. They even changed their Twitter name to further cement that fact!

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Oh, and their justification for why you should make the investment? You get slightly longer episodes with deleted scenes. WOWWWWWW. That’ll do it!

False. That will NOT do it. The Office is perfect as is. I don’t need a few extra minutes. I get plenty of entertainment out of what I’ve already seen. I can YouTube extended scenes or bloopers or whatever I want. I don’t need to pay for your shitty service, sorry. I’d rather buy every season separately than join your Peacock Cult.

So goodbye Dunder Mifflin. You will never be forgotten. You’ll always have the Dundee for “My Favorite Show Ever”, and that won’t ever change. This is gonna be hard…………….that’s what she said.

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