How Screwed Are The Patriots?

They’re not.

I should honestly end the blog there. Instead of going through and trying to defend my team against all you fairweather, media nonsense gargling “fans” that hear buzzwords like “separation” or “deep threat” and think the sky is falling with this team, I could just sit back and watch the fire burn around Foxboro like you all seem to think it is. I could lay back with my Bud Light Seltzer Sam Adams and read article after article from your Ben Volin’s or you Dan Shaughnessy’s about how this team is fatally flawed. Or I could listen to the nitwits at 98.5 spew whatever the hell this was..

I’m sorry but I can’t go any further without refuting every single thing these inbred, radio shitstains just poured out of their gullets.

“They were not prepared……Of all the guys that could deal with no preseason, or a different training camp or lost days and time due to COVID, you know, who’s the best. Who’s gonna clean up on that, Bills gonna clean up on that.” – They did, in fact, “clean up on that” whatever the hell that means. 2-2 going into this game where one game you almost beat the defending champs with not one, but TWO back up QB’s while your defense held Mahomes to his lowest offensive production since he’s been in the league with some defensive stallorths out due to COVID is pretty damn good. But hey, spin the narrative boys!

“Instead his team was not ready and they kinda, kinda gave in. I say they meaning the coaches…Bill did” – What game were you watching? Do you know who you’re talking about? Bill Belichick is going to give up on a game. And you’re probably thinking about him not challenging James White’s 3rd down spot late in the game right? Which he explained, by the way..

“To me that was like, woah what’s going on there. Not to mention the two-point conversion..what the hell was that all about?” – Well you see Mazz, I know it’s difficult for your cue-ball encased brain to understand, but when you’re down by 15 points, you’re going to need to go for 2 at some point. So, why not go for it early so you know how to manage the game as it progresses depending on if you get it or not.

“Too busy blaming Goodell like a bunch of 8 year olds, too busy blaming a locker room, the size of a locker room, too busy blaming this, that and the other. Versus what? Getting ready for a game or doing the best they can to get ready for a game and blocking out distractions and overcoming adversity like Tennessee’s done just fine” – No on the team blamed Goodell for the loss, nor did anyone blame the locker room. The fans may have, but not one player used either of those things as an excuse as to why they lost. And they didn’t get ready or do the best they could? What are you basing that on? Looked to me like they did the best they could with practicing 2 times in just as many weeks. And Tennessee, other than having COVID positive players, are not even remotely in the same situation as the Patriots are in, so why bring them up? Your guess is as good as mine.

“That’s a sign of a coach that’s losing his fastball.” – 2020’s version of: “Let’s face it, the Patriots just aren’t good anymore!” Oh how 98.5 has fallen.

As I said before, instead of sitting back and letting you “Tom Brady fans who don’t know how to say you were just Brady fans and not Patriots fans” fans sit there and put my team through the ringer, I will instead stand like Jon Snow against the onslaught of morons.

So like the great Marshall Mathers once said, snap back to reality. Please.

The 2020 New England Patriots are still very much in the mix as one of the top teams in the league. They can hang with anyone and beat anyone. Of course, there is one major caveat though: assuming they have time to practice. And I’m not even asking for more time or even a regular amount of time. I’m just asking for more than TWO DAYS of practice time over a two week period. That’s all. This is not an excuse for how bad they played, but it’s a reason for how disjointed they looked. It’s a reason for a fanbase to not collectively shit themselves over one horrid performance.

You know who didn’t perform horridly though? This defense. You hold a team to 6 field goals in a game where your offense turned it over more times than I’d care to admit and gave you some of the worst field position you’ve had all year. Yeah, I’d say that coach who’s “lost his fastball” grooved a 98 MPH heater there.

Quick question of the rhetorical variety here, would you say it’s important for an offensive line to get used to playing with each other as to form one giant megamind so you know what each of your teammates tendencies are and how they block? So you’d be pretty shocked to know that the Patriots played much of this game with an O-Line who never even practiced with each other. Again, this is a problem.

Listen, that loss sucked. It sucked almost as much as these announcers suck Mahomes every time he does something mildly impressive, okay? But let’s not act like all is lost and 1 Patriots Place should be boarded up for the remainder of the season.

Cam Newton was off with his timing. The defense seemed to lose their assignents from time to time. The tight end position seems to be as forgotten as half the storylines going into the last season of Game of Thrones (yes I am still very bitter), but these are all things that can be fixed with PRACTICE. Belichick himself even said that this group of rookies is a behind in their progression as any class has been in a long time.

AND HE’S RIGHT! And it’s not even a bad thing to say. This team relies so much on timing and, wait for it, doing your job, so it’s easy to assume that these two rookie TE’s will eventually come into their own once they get practice time under their belt. And I don’t think it’d hurt to throw them a ball or two either Cam, just saying.

With the Bills losing to the Chiefs and falling to 4-2, carrying a 2-3 record isn’t a death sentence. Even though half of you “fans” seem to want to stick a fork in this team, you all seem to be forgetting that this is the same offense that put up 30+ multiple times earlier this season against better opponents than the Denver Broncos. This game was an anomaly. It was a poorly played and at times poorly coached anomaly, but still, an anomaly nonetheless.

Now, allow me to do my best psychiatrist impersonation here to help ease the mind of my fellow Patriots fans. (Unless you’re Irish. Because like Matt Damon said in The Departed, “This is one race of people for whom psychoanalysis is of no use whatsoever.”)

If the Patriots can gain some semblance of normalcy when it comes to practice time, they can get their offense back to what it was. Once that happens, they can begin to grow and cocoon and metamorph into the beautiful butterfly we know they can become. And assuming this defense, at the very least, stays as good as they are, you’ll be looking at a team firing on all cylinders once playoff time rolls around. And GOD FORBID they add an offensive threat or get a modicum of production from their tight end position. Woah baby would that be some rainbow jimmies on this ice cream.

So, to run it back to the beginning…do you actually think the Patriots are screwed?

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