The Chiefs Are Mortal

How many no look passes does it take to get to 5-0? Well the Chiefs and Patrick “I’m A God” Mahomes may never know.

The Oakland Las Vegas (blah) Raiders finally overcame their boogeyman and beat the Chiefs today 40-32. Yes, this “much improved” Chiefs defense gave up 40 points to the Raiders. You are not misreading that. The Chiefs were out-shootouted by a team ran by Jon Gruden and helmed by Derek Carr.

How on Earth did this happen!? Well, if you’ve been paying attention to Kansas City this year, the fact that they lost this game isn’t really a surprise. The Chiefs, including their much ball-washed offense, have been relatively mediocre the past few weeks.

The Chiefs struggled against the Chargers a few weeks ago to start this slippery slope. Now of course, these are division rivals so you’d assume they’d play eachother hard. But this is also a Chargers team who had a rookie QB starting. And no matter how promising said rook is, the defending Champs have no business barely pulling that game out by the skin of their teeth.

Then we have last week against New England. A game in which the Patriots dropped two sure interceptions against the NFL’s Golden Boy as well as watching a sure fumble/interception get overturned because the zebras decided to run it back to last year and screw the Patriots in a game against the Chiefs once again!

Speaking of turnovers, something that most people aren’t going to talk about because they’re too busy gargling Mahomes nuts is that he consistently gives the opposing team 2 or 3 chances a game to turn the ball over. Whether or not that other team takes advantage of it decides whether or not the media is going to make it an issue or not. But I promise you, once teams start catching his lame ducks/bad decision making, it’s going to be a problem that’s brought into the spotlight.

And now we have today’s game against the Rrrrrrraaaaaiders. I’m not too proud to admit that I was clenching my butt extremely hard when the game was cut down to one score. I seemingly forgot who I was rooting for. The Raiders are allergic to closing out games in KC. But Vegas must’ve popped a few Allegra at halftime because they held off Mahomes comeback Hodor holding the door in Thrones when the show was still good before they rushed the last season an ruined what was the best show ever created. Yes, I’m still bitter.

With just under 6 minutes left and what many thought was going to be an inevitable scoring drive, Mahomeboy threw a pick into what seemed like double coverage on 4th down in a game crushing INT. If this was literally ANY OTHER quarterback, he’d be getting roasted for that, but since it’s the reigning, defending Super Bowl MVP, it’s pushed to the backburner.

Instead, all we’re going to hear is how Mahomes is a wizard.

Generally speaking, I like Mahomes. So I don’t want this to come across as hating on him, but a wizard? Really? I mean this is impressive, don’t get me wrong, but I feel like we see every running QB make this type of throw numerous times in a season. But since it’s #15, it’s going to get magnified and suckified.

Then there’s this play. Another one that I’ve seen mobile QB’s routinely make.

The guy is supremely talented, that’s not in question. But he’s teetering into Lebron territory where every single thing he does get’s an orgasmic response from the announcers followed by a multiple segment bukkake by whatever sports show you want to watch the next day.

Instead of looking at the facts: Mahomes and this offense aren’t as kevlar as everyone likes to tout them as. If you get pressure on the QB, you can disrupt him. There’s only so many rollout passes to Hill that a defense will let up before they deploy the Belichickean 8-DB coverage forcing Mahomes to throw it away or run for 2-3 yards. Then if you control the ball on offense, this team becomes very, VERY mortal.

But you might as well forget everything I wrote here because come Monday morning, all you’ll hear about is how Mahomes made some incredible throws, brought his team back to one score and the Raiders finally “figuring it out”. Hint: the Raiders are NOT figuring it out, but whatever makes it easier to say the Chiefs are the best team in football still.

Not that any of this matters. The entire league is going to come down with COVID before we know it and this great sport we were all waiting for will be taken away and we’ll be left like Andy driving away from Woody, Buzz and the rest of his toys. Ugh. Pandemics suck.

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