Another Asteroid Plays Chicken With Earth AGAIN

We just missed it friends. We almost got put out of our misery. But it was just another pesky, bitchass little asteroid pretending to be a threat but ended up losing another game of will they-won’t they.

Honestly, we have to have the difficult talk about how asteroids really aren’t as big and bad as the pretend to be. Yeah sure, a GIANT rock miles long sounds scary at first, but when was the last time one of these guys (or girls, we don’t discriminate) actually touched down on our crappy planet, hmm? Exactly.


Eighteen hundred and thirty miles. That’s how close we were to sweet salvation. Just to put that distance in perspective, that’s just over halfway from Boston to California. That’s kind of crazy to think about actually.

But you want to know what’s even crazier? This quote from the geniuses over at NASA:

An asteroid the size of a car has flown past Earth closer than any seen before without hitting the planet – and NASA admits: “We didn’t see it coming.”

Ummm, come again? You didn’t see it coming? Well what the hell were you guys looking at!? I feel like over at NASA HQ, the #1 job should be watching to make sure we don’t get obliterated by a flying rock. Obviously a very close second, and possibly even the real number one, on that list is trying to talk to aliens, but that’s neither here nor there.

But can you imagine if this puppy was closer!? Maybe then we finally…..wait….what?

If it had actually been on an impact trajectory, it would likely have become a “fireball” as it broke up in the Earth’s atmosphere.

Well what a big fat nothing-burger this is then, huh? This guy wouldn’t even have been a big deal if it entered out atmosphere? Come on now, why is this even news then!? I mean, other than the fact that NASA was apparently caught off guard by this giant space rock tumbling closer to out planet than anything prior to it, but that’s it’s own issue.

Oh well, another day, another sad outcome for the human race. I’m not sure what it’s going to take, but I remember hearing one day that asteroids have a little bit of space metal in them so maybe if we all hold a magnet to the sky right around the time one of these speices-enders comes back around, we may finally get the final nail in the coffin to this sad, sad year we’re all living.

Fingers crossed. Until next time asteroid.

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