Florida Man Needs His Whopper

No one likes lines. This is a fact. Waiting in a line, for anything, may be the worst thing a person can experience. Not only because of the inconvenience of having your day delayed because of other humans, but just the sheer number of times throughout the day that we have to deal with these freaking lines. It’s torture.

But ask yourself this: Have you ever thought about committing murder because you had to wait a few extra minutes for your Whopper? Your answer to that questions separates you from being a regular man or being a Florida Man.

There’s quite a bit going on here.

First of all, look at that guys mugshot. That’s the fact of a guy that’s still upset that he had to wait for his food. Probably doesn’t even think what he did was that bad, just writes it off to being hangry and that’s that.

Second of all, there’s an interesting layer here that I think needs to be brought up.

Joshua was working the Orlando drive-thru when Tormes’ partner, believed to be Ashley Mason, became screaming about the backup, according to the arrest affidavit.


Mason reportedly got out of the car and “threatened to bring her ‘man’ to the restaurant,” after which she was given a refund for her $40 order, witnesses told Orlando police

Number one, $40 at Burger King for two people is a wild amount. Like, an excessive amount of money to be spending on fast food. Even for drunk munchies if that was the case here. What’s your go-to drunk order? 10 nuggies, maybe two burgers of some sort and a large fry? Even if you throw in a drink and times that entire order by two for you and your lady friend, you’re looking at around $20. Regardless of the time of night, the fact that these Floridian heathens had the gall to get mad at these essential BK workers because it took them an extra few minutes to process their monstrosity of an order is complete and utter blasphemy.

Ladies, number two is for you. This is why it is never, EVER a good idea to say you’re going to “bring your man” into any argument that YOU start. And every single woman out there knows what I’m talking about too. You start an argument and then pull the “WOAH YOU BETTER WATCH IT! Don’t make me get my boyfriend over here to mess you up!” card. Meanwhile we’re just sitting there the whole time like “Ah damn, there she goes again…”

But don’t get it twisted, the blame for this is squarely on the psychotic shoulders of Kelvis Rodriguez Tormes. Maybe he was so upset because he has a dumbass name like Kelvis, who knows! But at no point should it ever be okay to murder someone because you and your girlfriend didn’t get your food in a manner you deem timely.

Also, if you ever find yourself saying this in a simple dispute over waiting in a drive-thru, you probably shouldn’t be allowed out without supervision..

The two struggled before Tormes got a gun and told Joshua, ‘You got two seconds before I shoot you,’” the affidavit states.

If your go to threat is to shoot someone, you probably shouldn’t own a gun. That’s just my two cents though.

At the end of the day, not only did this useless excuse for a human being ruin the lives of the loved ones and family members of 22-year-old Desmond Armond Joshua Jr., but he also never got his food anyway. So it looks like you’re going to be going to jail on an empty stomach you piece of shit.

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