The Bubonic Plague Is Back…So What?

You know in baseball when there’s a big benches clearing brawl and both teams are going at it? And then the bullpens come running in and by the time they get there they just kind of float around and try to be a part of it? That’s what the Bubonic Plague is doing right now. Just trying to be involved for no reason.

There’s a fight going on in 2020 between humans and diseases/natural disasters/animals/anything else that wants to end the human race, and the bitchass Bubonic Plague is trying to piggy back off that and act like they’re some big bad bullies too.

Ummm, hey newflash for everyone pretending to be worried about this, there is a cure for the Bubonic Plague! It can be treated with regular antibiotics and you’ll be right as rain in a few days. Your actual risk of dying is 11% as long as you take medicine. Are you kidding me? You are more likely to die from a hippo attack as opposed to this fake plague. And that’s a fact, 2,900 people a year die from hungry hungry hippo’s.

But if you read this article, they’re clearly trying to put the fear of God in us.

Plague, caused by bacteria and transmitted through flea bites and infected animals, is one of the deadliest bacterial infections in human history. During the Black Death in the Middle Ages, it killed an estimated 50 million people in Europe. Modern antibiotics can prevent complications and death if administered quickly enough.

Don’t try to scare me by bringing up the Black Death while also almost simultaneously telling me that our modern meds can prevent it. I feel pretty confident that Ibuprofen can prevent a disease that originated IN THE MIDDLE AGES from killing me. I’d hope we’ve grown to that point in the medical field.

And I know what you’re probably asking, but no, this disease is not as contagious as COVID. Because with the ‘rona you could catch it by simply being around people. With this “plague”? Just don’t go near dead animals. Pretty simple!

Bayannur authorities warned the public to report findings of dead or sick marmots — a type of large ground squirrel that is eaten in some parts of China and the neighboring country Mongolia, and which have historically caused plague outbreaks in the region.

A Tarbagan marmot in steppes around Khukh Lake, Mongolia.

This little shit also started a plague in 1911 that killed 63,000 people in China too!? How are we still allowing these little disease-ridden furballs to exist?

So if I steer clear of dead squirrels, I’ll most likely be all set? This is the biggest fraud of a plague I’ve ever seen. And how did this plague even pop back up after all this time? Some hunter ate a raw kidney from a marmot that he caught. If you eat a raw anything from an animal you caught, it seems to me like you’d probably catch some sort of disease! And guess what, you probably deserve it for being an idiot.

In conclusion, stay away from dead squirrels, don’t eat raw animal organs and please, PLEASE…wear your fucking masks.

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