Florida Is Undefeated Part 2: Exposed Dick

Florida Man is back with a vengeance. You think that fickle bitch COVID-19 is going to outshine Florida Man? Au contraire mon frère.

Let’s see COVID do this:

“He told detectives that he often drives with his penis exposed because he gets hot and “airs it out.” “

As someone who currently lives in the hell hole that is Florida, I can confirm that it does indeed get very warm outside. And sure, from time to time a man’s private part’s certainly get pretty hot and uncomfortable. It becomes a heat seeking moisture missile if you will. But never have I once been driving, or doing anything in public for that matter, and though, “Ah man, time to take this baby out and let it air dry!”

That’s psychotic. Which actually should be expected, given who we’re talking about here.

Then Sheriff Grady Judd had an all time quote:

“First, nobody wants to see that. It’s disgusting, rude, and perverted. Second, it’s dangerous to be doing something like this while driving. This is wrong on so many levels. Great work by the detectives to find this guy so quickly. He said he’s done this before, so we’re asking for his other victims to contact the Sheriff’s Office,” Sheriff Grady Judd said.”

He is very right. Nobody wants to look over while driving on the highway and see some perverted Floridian trash waving trying to get you to look down at man meat. That’s is, in fact, disgusting, rude and perverted.

And what a sting operation by the state officials, am I right? Kind of an “all the stars aligned” type thing. Of course they knew which car to tail because they had his plate number, but what were the odds that he would choose the undercover cop as his next drive-by peep show victim?

He could’ve chose any other car driving by him! There’s always traffic in this useless state, so it’s not like he had slim pickings. But it all worked out this idiot too the bait. He was up beside her clopping out his cum gun ready to impress her.

I do have to say this though, the coordination by this man to be able to drive on the highway in Florida, which is difficult to do when you DON’T have your dick out, get another drivers attention, take out his middle stump and begin to masturbate all without getting into an accident is certainly impressive. I mean, this guy is an insane person that deserves to be locked up, but his ability to multitask is off the charts.

It’s sad to know I live in a state where a guy can drive, fully exposed while waving at people next to him, better than your everyday commuter. God, Florida sucks.

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