Florida Is Undefeated

Protesting is all the rage right now. Literally any issue you can think of calls for a protest.

Oh, you want me to stay inside to practice social distancing and “flatten the curve” of a worldwide virus that’s killed thousands? NOT ON OUR WATCH! WE NEED TO BE OUTSIDE! PROTEST ON THAT ASS!

While I think protesting a quarantine that has been put in place to save lives is about as dumb as you can get, I can at least see where people are coming from. Staying cooped up in a house for weeks on end may seem like prison to some people (even though it sounds like paradise to me. Weeks on end without dealing with the outside world? Sign me up!). Add in the fact that you’ve probably been forced to wipe your ass with your hand or shit in the shower due to lack of toilet paper, I can see how people get frustrated.

But this type of protest, I just…I don’t get it:

Florida always has to take every situation and stupify it down to their dumb level.

Floridian Man 1: “They can’t just do this to us! They’re taking away our right to workout. Without the gym where am I going to get my reps in!? Hey, drop down and do some pushups with me so we can show them just how much we miss the gym.”

Floridian Man 2: “Yeah man you’re totally right! We have to show them that this is wrong and we need the gym to workout! Wait…bro, could we just do this the entire time? Can we actually workout somewhere other than a gym?

Floridian Man 1: “….nah man, we need the mirrors and the dumbells! You know that!”

People forget this, but you don’t need the gym to workout. Sure it’s 10x easier to have machines and dumbbells to exercise with, but if you really want to get your swole on, you can work around not being able to go to the gym. I mean, have you seen any movie with prisoners in it? Those guys get jacked, and I don’t see one Planet Fitness workout mat in sight.

This just brings me back to my point that anyone protesting anything being shut down right now is just an idiot. Plain and simple. I don’t care if you’re one of the tin foil hat people who think this “isn’t as serious” as the media is making it out to be. People are dying and the coronavirus is a part of those deaths. Any way to stop or slow it down is fine with me. I don’t even really think this is about working out. I think this is just people wanting something to bitch about. You’re telling me you go to the gym SO much and you’re THAT dependent on everything a gym offers you that you have to take time out of your day to protest not being able to go? Get the fuck out of here.

So once again Floridians are being laughed at. And as a New England transplant living in this horrid state, I want to tell you that they’re not all this dumb but, I cannot tell a lie. This doesn’t surprise me one bit. This state has let me down at every turn and this is no different. Keep up the good work Florida!



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