Patriots Blowout Giants In Stressful Thursday Night Game

Tom Brady is officially at the cliff. The Patriots offense is broken. This team can only win if their defense scores. The Patriots are lucky to be 6-0. Brady is Manning at the end of his career.

These are all things you’re gonna hear from the Shannon Sharpes and Nick Wrights of the world after this game against the Giants. I just wanted to get out in front of it so all of Patriots Nation is ready.

You’ll hear a false narrative that this offense is indefensibly bad, instead of hearing the facts. Dorsett is out. Gordon left the game with a nasty leg injury. Burkhead isn’t playing. The offensive line is very hit or miss right now. Brady is throwing to players you’ve never heard of that resemble guys Madden creates for its made up draft classes.

Bent? Sure. Broken? No.

When you have Brandon Bolden and Gunner Olszewski playing meaningful snaps, you know your backs are against the wall. And Brady still finds a way to drag his offense to a win.

And before we jump down Tom’s throat, let’s take a minute to think: is he really missing receivers left and right or is it partly because said receivers aren’t where they’re supposed to be? Just something to think about.

And yet this team still wins going away. A 35-14 game that really felt like a 14-13 game. Only the Patriots can blow a team out while simultaneously making every single person in their fan base pull their hair out the entire game. It’s a skill that no other team possesses. It’s pretty damn impressive.

I’m not gonna sit here and say I wasn’t one of those fans watching the game through my fingers while wondering how quick we can get Ben Watson back in town. Or if Antonio Brown is reaaaaally that bad of a guy. But that’s a discussion for another blog.

To start the game, Brady and the offense did not look good. At all. It was like watching a preseason game where they’re just trotting guys out there to get reps and run specific plays regardless the outcome. It was frustrating as shit. Especially seeing tweets like this.

Fucking Nick Wright and Ben Volin man. Nick will never stop trying to convince himself that the Patriots aren’t as good as they are. It’s cute. He has his own little thing that keeps him waking up each morning. And Volin can’t get one thought out about this team without sounding like a scorned lover talking about their ex. A skill that other Patriot haters should admire.

Say what you want about the ugliness of this, but 31/41 for 332, 2 rushing TD’s and 1 int is fine with me. Brady was dropping some (Danny) dimes in the second half as well. He has a laser guided middle to Izzo at the beginning of the 3rd that almost grazed a defenders head. Then he had this:

Dropped in a bucket over double coverage. Yeah, Brady is still Brady. Find another slant assholes.

The real story though, as it has been the entire season, is this defense. I mean my goodness I haven’t seen such dominance in all my years!

The Boogeymen. The Baba freaking Yaga.

Every time you look up it’s either sack, pick, pass break up or Van Noy chasing a quarterback like he’s the villain chasing the scared sorority girl in a horror movie. This defense is legit and I won’t hear any other argument.

But even though this defense is playing at legendary difficulty right now, it doesn’t make going for it on every 4th down any more pleasurable. Who knew Gostkowski was so important? Oh wait, we ALL knew that. We’ve all just become so spoiled that the second any player struggles we turn into the worst type of fans and immediately call for his replacement.

Spoiled fans. That’s what we are. Only Patriot fans will take a 21 point victory and poke so many holes in it that even Denzel at the end of Training Day is like damn, calm down. We want our wins to be exactly how we expect them: dominant. But that’s just not what this team is capable of right now. A win is a win is a win. Especially on a shitty Thursday Night where the wind was ultimately the toughest foe of the night.

Take this win. Accept it. Digest it for what it is. An ugly, unsatisfying W to keep your team undefeated going into the mini bye week.

While the offense still finds its way, the defense can carry the load. You can exhale knowing we have the Jets next week and the only way that team is beating us is if Darnold kisses Brady right on the lips pregame to share his mono.

6-0. Were onto New York.

OH! And by the way, did you know Tom Brady passed Peyton Manning to get to second all time in passing yards? No? Probably because there was no mention of it whatsoever on the broadcast…

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