Patriots Break The Miami Curse

NO MIAMI MIRACLE THIS YEAR BITCHES!

While I fully understand that the Dolphins are barely a legitimate football team, this was complete domination by the best team in the NFL. Any demons were officially excorcised. Any left over raw wounds from last years debacle were healed.

Like I said, regardless of how turrible Miami is, the Patriots owned them from the opening kick to the final play. Literally.

When you’re as good as New England, you’re supposed to throttle teams like the Dolphins. And the Pats did their job today. Pundits will try to diminish this W because of who the opponent was, but give credit where credit is due.

After much “will he, won’t he”, Antonio Brown did indeed play today. And Mr Big Chest seems to be fitting in nicely, eh? Business is boomin’ baby!

The AB17/TB12 connection was on display before the game even started, too.

Tom Brady doesn’t hug bad people. And if our lord and savior is willing to let AB into the family, who am I to think otherwise? The scary part is that he and Brady aren’t even fully on the same page yet. And he STILL ended the day with 4 for 56 with a TD and a rush for 5 yards. Not too shabby.

And while Brown, Gordon and Edelman are gonna capture all the media’s hearts, I have eyes for a different man. Phillip Dorsett has been a very, very solid security blanket when Brady needs. And the guy catches almost everything thrown his way. I mean look at this:

I chuckle to myself thinking about how any defense in this league is going to cover this team. AND OUT NUMBER ONE DRAFT PICK WIDE RECEIVER ISN’T EVEN ON THE FIELD YET!

Wanna know what’s funny though? In a game that ended 43-0, the DEFENSE is the unit that really showed up and showed the F out. A great man once said, if you don’t let em score, you can’t lose!

Stonewalling a team and giving up 0 points is good. Not letting up a TD in back to back weeks is great. Holding 3 teams to only field goals in three consecutive games is historic.

One of those teams had a top 2 offense in the NFL. One team was your ‘rival’ with Super Bowl aspirations. And while today’s game was against a JV team, it still counts! And with the Jets on the docket for next week, this streak may very well continue.

Interceptions were being passed around more than actual Dolphin completion’s today it seemed. In fact, at one point the Patriots had more yards off picks than the entire Dolphins offense.

McCourty, Gilmore, and Collins all recorded picks with the latter having two on his resume for this game. Did I mention that two of those four picks were returned for TD’s? This defense is scary good.

Again, you had an elite defense going up against Ryan Fitzmagicpatrick who seemingly has skipped right over the “look like a pro-bowler” stage and went right to the “look like a quarterback who’s been passed around more times that Lisa Ann” stage. Shame. Tannehill has gotta be looking at this team like “SEE! It wasn’t only my fault!” Wrong Ryan, it was always your fault….

The interesting little subplot here was how Belichick was gonna handle going up against yet another one of his defectors in Brian Flores. Well, up multiple scores late in the 4th, Brady was still in the game throwing rainbows to James White. But don’t let that make you think Bill hates his former D Coordinator. The reason Brady was still in this game and this offense was still going for broke until the last second of the game is simple. The Miami Miracle happened.

So when Skip Bayless goes on his rant tomorrow about how Belichick is trying to kill Brady by keeping him in sewn up games, just remember, there’s a method to the madness.

All in all, watching the Patriots beat the Dolphins worse than Sea World ever did was enjoyable but predictable. This team is on a mission this year. This quarterback is on a mission this year. Just sit back and enjoy the ride. Because they’re just getting started.

P.S. Wanna see the most Dolphins thing ever? En route to being shitwhipped by a superior team in every facet you can imagine, this dink is excited about…something…

P.P.S. Oh, and here’s the greatest picture ever taken. Gordon+Brown+Edelman+Dorsett+GOAT=W.

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