Rob Parker Is A Sad, Strange Little Man

I get it. I get that fact that the more the Patriots and Tom Brady succeed, the more haters they’ll gain. Everyone likes to hate you when you’re the best and that’s a burden this team has carried for two decades. I have no problem with people openly coming out and saying “You know what? I just hate this team. I hate your perfect quarterback. I just want it to end!” I almost respect that. You’re admitting you’re a hater. And that’ fine!

But what Rob Parker does is different. He’s about as big a Patriots hater as there is out there, but he tries to mask it by bringing up stats and reason. The guy is locked on to 3 or 4 moments in Brady’s career that he keeps latching onto to back up his argument. And now that Brady had, statistically, a down year last season, this pea brained loser thinks he has more ammo than ever before.

Look at his segments from the past few days:

The first segment is as embarrassing as it can get for Robby P. This man constantly talks about using the ‘eye test’ and not to let stats mean everything. But yet when it comes to Tom Brady, stats are almost all he refers to. Sure, last year was statistically one of the worst years in Brady’s career. But look at the interceptions he has. Almost half of them were not his fault or were balls that popped out of his receivers hands.

And then we get the “he’s not as good as he used to be!”. Well no shit. He’s 42 years old. But where his skills decline, his mind makes up for it. There is not one defense or coverage that this man has not seen. But Parker only focuses on the physical, statistical side of the argument.

And then we get the same regurgitated diatribe we always get. He brings up the interception against Pittsburgh where he ‘couldn’t even get the ball out of bounce’ while ignoring the fact that Tom was throwing off his back foot with a rusher in his face. The pick essentially turned into a punt since the Steelers had the ball down by their own 10 yard line.

He brings up the pick that ‘should have ended the AFC Championship game” while glossing over the fact that Gronk let that ball slip right out of his hand resulting in yet another interception that would not have been the QB’s fault.

Then of course he talks about the fumble that ‘cost’ the Pats the Super Bowl against the Eagles two years ago. And for that, I have no defense for. Yes, Brady fumbled the ball with the game on the line. That happened two years ago. How’d he respond? Oh yeah, won last years Super Bowl.

A nice new little twist we got today though was Rob interrupting Greg Jennings while saying Brady isn’t ‘falling off the cliff’, and bringing back up that video where Brady jumped off that cliff with his daughter. He has no follow up whatsoever to it. He brings that up and then abruptly stops talking. You know he’s been waiting to bring that up again just so he can take another slight shot at Brady.

And actually something I haven’t heard before from this shithead was the fact that Brady wouldn’t have won had it not been for Sony Michel. That…that doesn’t even deserve a response. What an asinine comment.

And that’s what’s embarrassing for almost all the Brady haters out there. If you keep saying every single year that he is gonna fall off or that the dynasty is gonna end, it’s not going to be impressive when you are finally right. You’ve been saying it for the past 5 years! Of course eventually you’ll be right, but that doesn’t mean you’re some genius who predicted the downfall of the greatest quarterback of all time. It makes you look sad that you’ve been holding onto this for so long.

So Rob Parker can keep singling out a handful of bad plays that Brady has had while ignoring the hundred of great throws/plays number 12 has made. That’s fine. This time next year he’ll be sitting in the same seat saying “But guys this is it! Did you see him last year! He’s not the same player he used to be! This is his final year!” just like he has for the last 5 years of his sorry existence. And he’ll have to explain himself until his mind is in a pretzel when Brady is hoisting another Lombardi at the end of this season.

When Brady is gone, Rob Parker will have no reason to exist in the realm of sports anymore. And that’ll be a great day for mankind.

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