Red Sox Savagely, Methodically Dismantle The Yankees And Steal Their Souls

23 hits. 19 runs. An ass whooping for the ages.

Homers from Sandy Leon (only active Hall of Famer), Rafael Devers ON A SCHOOL NIGHT and two (2) from the greatest short stop in the game, Xander Bogaerts. Still a god damn travesty that he wasn’t in the All Star Game.

I could run down the insane list of hits and RBI’s for tonights manhandling, but all you need to know is that everyone got a hit, many got at least one RBI, and the Yankees didn’t know what the hell to do to stop the bleeding.

And what did the greatest offense in the game do? Those ‘savages’ as they like to be called? 3 runs. The Sox allowed them 3 mercy runs so they still had enough life to come back tomorrow for another throttling.

Yes, I understand we are still 10 games back of first place and this is just one win. But still, that does not change the fact that the entire Yankees team and their fans just got a bat shoved squarely up their ass by the Boston Red Sox. And no, there was no lubricant used whatsoever. And I don’t wanna hear any shit from Yankees fans saying shit like “Oh yeah, have fun gloating tonight, your team still sucks and are like, a billion games back in the East bitch!” I don’t care. A win is a win and at this time of year, we need every win we can get. And you can bet your pin-striped ass that we’re all gonna talk shit about dominating and emasculating the Yankees.

And a special fist fuck for the umpire tonight who thought it was a good idea to throw out Brock Holt.

The Yankees were already getting their dicks chopped off at this point, but I feel like they should be giving some of the blame to home plate ump, D.J. Reyburn.

What did Didi Gregorius say about playing the Red Sox? Something about burying them I believe? Yeah, how’d that work out for ya bud?

“Keep expanding the lead” Great advice.

Now we put out faith in Andrew Cashner who has had a little trouble giving up the long ball in his last couple starts, so hopefully he can shut that shit down a bit. Because I don’t care how many games back we are, the next few series here will decide the entire season for Boston. We’re off to a great start, let’s not fuck it up.

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