Cat Update #2

Loki and Luna are in their Terrible Two’s stage.

It feels weird calling them Loki and Luna by the way considering we have called them by their names a total of 0 times since giving them said names. Instead we just call them ‘boy’ and ‘girl’ like we’re Sandra Bullock in Bird Box.

But anyway, like I mentioned before in my first update, they are no longer shitting on everything in sight. Which is delightful. But now they’re just annoying as shit. All the time. For instance right now, as I right this blog, this is what I’m dealing with:

Now, I know these pictures make them look like adorable little angels, but I can assure you, they are heathens. The both of em. Know what I couldn’t get a picture of? Loki walking over my hands while I’m trying to type or walking over the power button on the laptop switching it into sleep mode.

I can’t work in conditions like this.

Another fun thing I can’t do in condition like this is lay down on my couch. Cause once I do, it’s almost like a bat signal gets lit and these little shits come running and jumping on me from outta nowhere. It’d be cool if they jumped and just laid down or relaxed, but no. That’s not what happens. They jump up and then start fighting with each other while on top of me. Then one of their claws inevitable get me through my shorts and I freak out and toss them off me.

I’m not saying their claws hurt. They don’t. It just always startles me when it happens. I don’t know why. I know it’s coming. I try to expect it. But it always surprises me which cause the reaction of me kicking them off.

A few days ago I had Luna on my chest just laying there. Cute as can be. For the first time since these fur balls invaded my life, I thought to myself “awwww man, they aren’t as bad as I say they are..” And you know what happened? Out of a dead sleep, she sits up and dives at my neck! No warning or anything! So I put her AND her brother in their room and shut the door for a little. If one of you goes down, you both go down. That’s how it is.

I still haven’t gotten an explanation from Luna as to why she tried to kill me.

Oh, and we now have the giant love sack in our bedroom to deter them from going the bathroom on it. So that’s fun. Our bedroom is not meant to have a bed, dresser AND a giant bean bag chair in it. It looks absurd. I can’t even open half the drawers to get to my clothes! But hey, this is the life I chose I guess.

Speaking of the bedroom, we now have to keep the door shut as well so then they don’t get in their and terrorize our room. Normally I wouldn’t mind shutting my door, but it gets stuffy as all hell and even though we have a fan, the room is never at the temperature I want. And it’s the cats’ fault.

Other than that, all is well. Sometimes at night when I lay on the floor Loki runs up to me and tries to get as close as possible before he lays down basically on top of me. I don’t hate it. It makes me feel loved. Now if only Luna would do the same maybe, just maybe, I’ll start to like them. But that’s gonna be a long road ahead of us friends.

Until next time. Cat Dad, out!

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