I’m Technically A Dad Now

I never thought I’d own a cat. I don’t want to say that I’m a ‘dog person’ because I feel like that implies that I don’t like cats. That’s not true. Cats are cool. They’re alright. I’ve always had a cat in the household for as long as I can remember. But still, I never thought that I would actually have a cat as a pet once I moved out.

I now have two kittens.

Loki and Luna.

I wanted to make sure at least one of them had some sort of Marvel name, and Loki is perfect cause lemme tell ya, the boy is a little son of a bitch sometimes. And Luna just goes well with Loki cause of the L’s and also, Luna Lovegood.

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So far I don’t think either of them are really too fond of me. I come in the room and they go and hide. Yet, when Nicole pops in, they come running over like she’s their mom or something. She’s not even cool. I’M THE COOL PARENT! Whatever. They’ll learn to love me over time….or else.

Anyway, I’ve come around on the thought of having two kittens run around the house. Kittens are cute and funny to watch. Cats on the other hand? Cats suck. Cats are assholes. Cats don’t even really like humans so I’m not sure why we even keep them once they get out of their kitten stage. I’m starting to be okay with kittens, but once they turn to cats? Well, Nicole and I are gonna have to have a very uncomfortable conversation if ya catch my drift.

They really are entertaining as hell to watch though. When they wrestle it’s some of the funniest stuff ever. Earlier tonight Luna jumped up and Loki speared her mid-air. Perfect form tackle. It was awesome.

I could do without the meowing at night the second we get in bed and shut the light off though. Then Nicole gets up to bring them in the bed, which they immediately jump out of and start meowing again. It’s tiring. Well, not for me. I can sleep through anything. Nicole is the one who gets kept up but hey, you made your bed, now ya gotta lay in it boo.

The first night we got em, I woke up to an empty bed though. Strange, because I could’ve sworn when I went to bed I wasn’t alone, but yet I wake up and Nicole is nowhere to be found. I come out to the living room and she’s asleep on the couch, both cats passed out laying on her. Now these little shits are trying to take my woman from me!? Not up in here. I don’t trust these fuckers as far as I could throw them. Which would be pretty far, I mean they’re like..half the size of a loaf of bread. It’s really adorable actually.

Know what’s not adorable though? That they love to bite and chew on my shoes. Don’t like that one bit. Or that they like to chew on every wire in the house. I’m just waiting for them to learn their own lesson with that one. A quick little shock and I guarantee that’ll be the last wire they ever gnaw on right?

So I guess we’ll see how this goes. If they start clawing my feet while I’m trying to sleep at night or start pissing all over my clothes, I may have to take them out back and ya know, take care of them……….I’m kidding. That was awful. I’d never hurt a cat. I’m sorry.

P.S. This blog took forever to write by the way because of this:

I mean, of all the times to want to bond, you pick right now? As I’m busy writing? Ugh. It is what it is though, maybe they’re finally accepting me as their dad now. Stay tuned!


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