I never knew that moving to Florida was gonna give me so much material to write about! Florida was back at it again a few days ago and not because of the normal “guy goes crazy and kills/stabs/hurts someone” reason, but for something else entirely. Apparently a ‘Wolf Hybrid’ has escaped a Vero Beach Sanctuary and has still not been found.
That thing is both gorgeous and slightly scary at the same time.
Uh, what the hell?? I have a few questions here. First and foremost, what is a ‘wolf hybrid’? Now, they do go on to mention that it is a mix between a dog and a wolf. But, correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t a wolf just a different type of dog basically? Why on Earth would we need to mix the two!? This makes no sense to me. But again this is Florida, so who knows what the hell this state has planned. Maybe mixing a dog/wolf is a way to see how they could make an animal as aggressive as a wolf but as loyal as a dog. Then all the Florida crazies would own these things and take over the state. I don’t know. Just an army of crazy people and crazy wolf-dogs.
But don’t worry everyone! They said the animal, named Jax, is “not aggressive….he’s very skittish though.” Uh, is that supposed to make us feel good!? It’s still a god damn wolf. I don’t care if he’s aggressive or not, it’s a freaking wolf. Skittish? That word is supposed to somehow make everyone calm? Have you ever been around a skittish dog before? Shit goes wrong real quick when dogs act skittish. My dog Titan once took me out at the legs and then almost bit me right in the face. And he was a yellow lab. So let’s picture a big wolf acting ‘skittish’ and see what happens. Thanks for trying to make everyone feel good about this but it didn’t work.
This thing has been missing since Tuesday by the way. TUESDAY! That’s almost a week and yet I haven’t really seen or heard much else about this. What happens when Jax meets other wolves out there and inevitably impregnates one of them like the stud that he is and they make super wolf hybrid babies? Then he and his pack decide to go back to the sanctuary that held him for so long and eat everyone in sight? This is what happens when we keep animals and decide to do weird shit to them. Never experiment with animals. There have been countless movies proving that this is NOT a good idea. Have you seen Eight Legged Freaks?
I think I’m going to start doing a few blogs a week about the random and weird shit that happens in this state. I’ll never run out of things to write about either, that’s the best part. With a place this big filled with as many heathens as Florida is, there’s a constant pool of nonsense for me to draw from. I feel like it’d be a good idea for a big blogging or social media company to open an office down here, amirite? ***eyes emoji*** Just thinking out loud….