I Have A Problem

I have been suspended from Twitter again.

I’m lost. I literally don’t know what to do with myself. Instagram is cool. Facebook is borderline useless. Snapchat is fun to mess around with. But Twitter? You’re gonna take Twitter away from me? That’s where I get all my news. That’s where I see all my cool/funny videos. I don’t know what to do with myself.

Yes, I understand that in the grand scheme of things this is not a big deal. I underst..wait..no. This IS a big deal. What the hell did I do to deserve this!? I haven’t tweeted anything really bad recently. I haven’t sent any obscenities towards any celebrities or threatened to assassinate the President or anything like that. So why the hell is this happening!? I retweet sports and Marvel shit, attempt some funny tweets and post my blog there. THAT’S IT! And now I can’t do or see any of those things. This is borderline criminal from the Twitter Police.

I literally unlock my phone and Twitter is almost always the first thing I open.There are so many things happening right now in the world that I have no idea about. What if Avengers Endgame comes out with a new little snippet? What if the Patriots make a move and I miss it? What if someone dies!? I don’t think people understand just how vital Twitter is to my everyday life. And now it’s gone. And I don’t even know why!

Here I was yesterday, just minding my own business, going back and forth through my various social media account like anyone my age does on their day off. And all of the sudden Twitter stops loading. I immediately look towards my WiFi. Maybe it cut out and my phone is just very slow? Nope, that wasn’t it. I open up Instagram and see if it’s working. Yep, all good over there. So I go back to Twitter and notice that I have 0 followers and have 0 people that I am following. Now I think that I am in the process of getting hacked. My Twitter actually just got hacked a few days ago, so I just assumed the assholes were back to finish the job. I go through the whole rigmarole of logging out and logging back in. Then I delete the app, redownload it, and login again. Still nothing. I then decide to login from my computer. Maybe it’s just something with the mobile app? And that’s when I see it. Going across the top of my profile, it says my account has been suspended. But upon further research into the issue, I still have yet to find out why my account has been suspended! I do have a few theories though…

I’m too much of a bad boy. Twitter looked back at my old tweets and deemed me too much of a rebel for their app. This could be it. I mean, I have said some pretty messed up things to some famous people. To this day I am still currently blocked by Curt Schilling, Terrell Suggs and Rob Parker. Ah yes, I have said some baaaaad stuff to good ol Robby boy. Tweets riddled with curse words and vulgar phrases. I may have even told him to die a few times. But that’s in the past so that can’t be it right?

My Blog. Twitter may have been seeing me post my blog on their day after day and maybe they believe it is spam. That could very well be it as well. I would be totally fine with that as well. Not that it would stop me from posting my blog, but it would definitely make me more careful and creative about it. But this seems kinda unlikely as well.

The Government. Throughout my career on Twitter, I have made some pretty bold statements peppered in pretty regularly regarding aliens and UFO’s and shit that the Government is hiding from us. Basically I am slowly but surely peeling back the layers of this fraudulent group of people that claim to be running our country. I think maybe, just maybe, the FBI…CIA…hell even NASA, may have finally gotten wind of my truth tellings and are trying to silence me. I wouldn’t be surprised if those pesky men in black showed up at my doorstep within the next few days and whisked me away to some secret hideout to threaten me with certain death unless I keep my mouth shut. Joke’s on you guys though because you can’t silence the truth!

Or maybe my account just got suspended because Twitter saw that I was hacked a few days ago and want to make sure everything is all good. I like the Government idea better though. Thoughts and prayers with me during this trying time.

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