Kansas City Cry Babies

Well, well, well..whatta we got over here!?…a cuppa haters!?

The fucking Chiefs man. What a bunch of bitches. So if you haven’t heard yet, the Kansas City Chiefs want to change the overtime rules. Which isn’t suspicious at all! Not like they got beat by the Patriots in overtime in the AFC Championship Game or anyth….oh wait.

Let’s get one thing straight, if the Chiefs would’ve won that game, there would be no proposal for a rule change. You know it to be true. There also would not have been backlash from everyone in the sports world about how “The Chiefs only lost because Mahomes didn’t get a chance to get the ball!” or “The Patriots only won because they got lucky!” Fuck Max Kellerman.

The overtime rules have already been changed before anyway. They don’t need to be changed again! Remember when it was sudden death in OT and all a team needed to do was barely get in field goal range to win a game? THAT was bullshit. This is not. You want your team to get a chance to touch the ball? How about you sack up and don’t let the other team drive the ball down your throat and score a touchdown? Seems pretty simple to me. Make ONE stop. That’s it. If your team can’t make one damn stop then you don’t deserve to get the ball back. It’s as simple as that.

Again, I want to reiterate, this would not even be a topic if the Patriots had not benefited from this rule. If the Chiefs lost to a different team, they most likely wouldn’t even had said shit about this. But since its the Big Bad Patriots and everyone is so jealous of us (yep, I said us) it becomes a huge issue that the NFL needs to immediately fix. Its totally unfair! Being a Patriots fan is not as easy as you’d think. Constantly defending your team against the onslaught of jealous whiners all the time gets tiring.

If, and probably when, this rule gets changed, this won’t be the first time a rule has been changed or thrown out because the Patriots benefited. Or they just simply know the rules better than you do. Want examples? Of course you do!

The Tuck Rule: The Patriots beat the Raiders in 2001 in the Divisional Round of the playoffs. Eventually leading to the first Super Bowl for what would become the greatest dynasty in all of sports. Brady was strip sacked at the end of the game that would’ve essentially ended the game. The refs huddled up and changed the call. This was a play that was officiated CORRECTLY to the letter of the law! In fact, this same situation happened earlier in the year AGAINST the Pats!

Colts Receivers: During the 2003 AFC Championship Game, the Patriots defense manhandled the Colts receivers all game. All within the rules, but the Pats defensive back were just more physical throughout the entire game. All while the Colts players and front office bitched and moaned. This inevitably led to the league changing the rules to lessen what the defense can actually do to the receivers to disrupt their routes. Pussification.

Ravens Don’t Know The Rules: I hate the Ravens. So much. During the 2014 playoffs, the Patriots put John Harbaughs brain in a blender. During the second half of the game, the Patriots ran a play where they had Shane Vereen line up in the slot. All looked normal BUT Vereen had let the ref know that he was ineligible. The Ravens opted to not pay attention to this and for some reason had someone cover him. The ball was snapped and Vereen just stepped backwards while Brady completed a pass to Hoomanawanui. The Pats ran this same type of play a few times that game which actually led to Harbaugh getting flagged for…being such a little bitchass. Fun Fact: The Patriots audible name for these plays were “Baltimore” and “Raven”. Love it. Fuck the Ravens.

Field Goal Leaper: Remember when the Patriots basically perfected the special teams play where a player would leap over the center on a field goal and block the kick? Yeah, the NFL noticed too. It was just another case where the Patriots were, as is with most things, doing it better than any other team in the NFL. And now you can’t leap over the center.

But the point here is really moot. No matter what you do, the New England Patriots will find a way to tweak their game, and continue to be better than you. Don’t think about it too much. Just accept it. This is a universal truth.

Hey Goodell, change the rules all you want, you rat fuck. No matter what you do, you will not stop this team. You can not stop this coach. You can not stop this quarterback. You can not stop this dynasty. See you next year Roger. Come to Gillette sometime!

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