What’s The Problem With Valentine’s Day?

Out of all the fake holidays, I feel like this one is the most polarizing. You have basically 3 types of people on Valentine’s Day:

The over affectionate couple. These fuckers. You know exactly who I’m talking about. The couple that will probably break up within the next month BUT on this day they post 10 different pictures across every social media platform available. Its almost as if they are trying to convince themselves that what they have is real. Spoiler Alert guys: it isn’t. These are the same people who say they love each other after a month of dating. Where the girlfriend is already planning the wedding and the boyfriend is already blowing off going out with his friends so he can spend the night with the ‘love of his life’. And if they get something delivered to them at work by their significant other? You bet your ASS they are going to make sure every single person they come in contact with knows about it. Screw this couple.

The miserable ones. You know exactly who I’m talking about here as well. These people just hate to see anyone else happy today. They’ll post selfies of themselves with the hashtag #SingleAwarenessDay or some other nonsense thats really just masking the fact that they are jealous of everyone elses happiness and know deep down that they’re always going to be miserable unless they change themselves. But again, they try to deny that truth by saying that they just ‘haven’t found anyone worth their time’ or some other lame excuse. Don’t get me wrong, there are plenty of single people I know that are completely fine with this day and applaud the love that surrounds it. Be more like those people! Don’t be a grumpus who sits there with a puss on their face because you hate yourself too much to be happy.

The regular couple. Ah yes, these ones. These are the good people. The couple that has been together for multiples years, understands what this day is, and doesn’t rub it in every ones face or feel they have anything to prove. They know their relationship is solid. They show enough love to each other throughout the year that they don’t need to overstate anything just because of a fake holiday. These are the type of people that won’t make you feel awkward if you third-wheel it with them for a night. They won’t make everyone feel uncomfortable with PDA that borders on X-rated activity either. Basically these are people who will do one or two subtle things to/for their significant other and leave it at that. Make sure you have friends like this (I like to think that my relationship falls under this category).

I genuinely hope everyone is having a great Thursday. If you’re single, treat today just like the normal day that it is. If you are in a relationship, please, for the love of god, don’t force your relationship upon everyone else.

Now if you’d excuse me, I need to figure out what Nicole and I are getting from Chilis tonight. Oh yeah, that’s right, we’re doing Valentine’s Day right baby!

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